Look Within

It’s not here

The Fear that plagues you

The Love that binds you

The Desire that drives you

 

It’s not here

The mechanisms of love

The barriers you place around it

The romantic illusions that pollute it

The myths that mask you from the truth

 

It’s not here

The saving grace

The divine light

Blazing away sorrows history

From your veins, from your veins

 

It’s not here

In that powdery embrace

A nose full, a mouth full,

a forbidden pharmacy

 

It’s not here

In that liquid luck

And all the ways you try to orchestrate your own destruction

It’s not here

It’s not here

It’s not here

 

 

Look within.

The New Year

Here’s to us

Making it this far

Another year closing

And as we dust down those resolutions

Reviewing the messes we’ve made

The triumphs we’ve tasted

Taking a shot for every disappointment

And dancing in the ember of the past

Reveling in the victory of all we’ve overcome

 

Nothing can compare to this strength

This evolving

And surviving the torture of our cocoons

For now we emerge

Glittering and ready

For all this year has in store,

And more.

 

For all life has in store.

Kaleidoscope

Loving you

With this kaleidoscope view

Of haunting visions

Misleading me & you

But caught up in the passion

Of the red & blues

Entranced by the mystery

And drowning in a history

Of powders, pills & booze

 

Consciousness – in & out we fly

We swallow up weeks

As we soar through the sky

And in my mind’s eye

I see you

Dancing in transition

Flickering red & blue

A dizzying display

As you multiply from one to two

To an endless supply of you

 

Of this haze

Filling my days

With dreams & nightmares

That torment when I crave

My next ticket

Soaring up high

Together, you & I

We’ll reinvent the meaning

Of floating

Through this life

 

Cheers to crashing countlessly

From the great heights we soar

For I remember truly

Loving you was an emotional war

 

For my unwavering patriotism

I refuse to leave

And as long as my lungs allow me to breathe

And as long as my veins bleed

Blue

I will continue

Continue

Loving you

With this kaleidoscope view

Of haunting visions

Misleading me & you

To a grave uncertain, but coming, but true

~ In Transition ~

Called by the knowing

The inner whisper from

The timeless

To a timezone

Where seconds melt away

And potential burns through

The transition

The disquiet

That follows one passing phase

Into another

 

With all of life

Brimming and bubbling in the bones of you

Here births the realised dream

The magnetised pull

To the future you

That is already fulfilled

Already the dazzling wonder

You feel so vividly in the distance

 

One you are with this dream

And all future yous

Living fully

In the present

Amplified

 

No substance truly annihilates forsaken pain

No chemical can cure the crash

Crash

Crash

Of a shattering heart

Breaking

On the floor of your chest

The bleeding,

The agony,

It cannot be avoided

Numbed, perhaps

But that is like

Walking bare foot

Over the shards of your own heart

Pretending the wounds aren’t there

Pretending

That the pieces

Of your once whole heart

Aren’t now festering inside of you

Like a malignant lump

No longer beating

But bleeding

Seeping through every crevice of your soul

Until you are utterly consumed

 

Neglected pain

Cannot be numbed by illegal substances

That promise of temporal joy

Temporal escape

Temporal release

Because as the substance leaves you

And your plane lands

And you feel yourself descending

Down a very deep hole

The pain will greet you there

That misery you left on stand by

On hold

Because life got in the way

 

But I know, love

This world is still cruel to the kindest of souls

And life doesn’t stop

Life doesn’t give way

Life doesn’t allow you to process this pain away – naturally

 

So we drink it away,

We smoke it away,

We love it away

But when your plane lands

And you feel yourself descending

Down a very deep hole

The pain will greet you there

Larger than before

So do not expect it to whisper

Do not expect it to meet you conveniently

Expect the room where your pain resides to be empty

Cleared of any redeeming quality

So when the chorus of your pain takes to the mic

Expect its volume, its power to be

Amplified

A Poet in Love |Excerpt from a book I may write

It was the mystery her midnight eyes exude that I found most alluring. The little tell tell signs of emotions that eyes of a different shade would reveal unconsciously; her dark brown hues kept hidden.

And I gaze into them; searching for the dilated pupils, the star struck glow, that faint glimmer and airiness that would all but confirm my suspicions. But instead I lose myself in this search; in an opal sea, for it is only her eyes that have the power to overwhelm and entrap me.

– I love her wildly.

Smoking Kills

You are the poison in my veins

But I inhale you

Still

My Mayfair sky blue

We create heaven

Clouds of euphoric ecstasy

But I still choke on the aftertaste

I still gag on the fumes of you

Of your disregard

 

You cause havoc on my insides

Yet

I inhale you, still

 

I had the spark you needed

Potential ignites

You pass through my lips with a violent kiss

Straight to the lungs

And I watch as I breathe out the daydreams

My fickle fantasy

This habit is not as artistic as it seems

 

But I watch the sapphire smoke dance in the wind

Haunting the skies with your fleeting beauty

The embers of our love

I prolong the last breaths of you like meditation

Clutching on to the chemicals

The high

For as long as I can

 

I burn through the nicotine as it burns through me